Written 10/17/25
A free-verse poem written for my college poetry writing class from the perspective of Clover
!!! Content warning: !!!
Implied sex and mention of eating disorder
Everything's Coming Up Clover
The night replays itself over and over
like the scars in my mind had prophesied.
My small naked body suffocated
under thick piles of fur blankets,
against the chest of some woman
or man (they're all the same to me)
offering themselves to my worship.
Yes! I want to moan, Make me your god-
your delicate summer doll, your irresistible English delight.
Baptize your beautiful son in the love that he was denied for so long.
So long,
goodbye.
It was just a game, tootsie.
There's someone I'm saving myself up for.
But the day replays itself over and over.
I make myself perfect for him, use all the right lines,
thinking I've really got him this time and yet
he turns his head in disgust and staring at his curly gold hair,
I feel something clawing its way painfully up my throat
like a scorching parasite that I thought I swallowed down.
My muscles clench- You are Clover you are charming you never get mad
So I smile and leave but in my mind
is the image of a child, an unloved child,
reliving the same day over and over-
the school kids dashing off when he tries to approach,
the adults laughing at him when he tries to speak,
his mother slamming and locking his door as he screams
in a tornado of ripped school papers and plush stuffing.
What did I do. Why ME. I MUST MAKE THEM PAY.
But seeing the blood-speckled mess, they'd sigh
with annoyance, not an ounce of regret.
Crispin can't control himself.
There's something wrong with him.
He's a psychopath. He's a freak.
Maybe they were right.
But it doesn't matter anymore.
He was an ugly little runt anyway.
This isn't a story about him, in fact,
he's long dead now, wiped off the face of the earth.
From a flower that grew out of his shallow grave
I was born, a new-age Thumbelina, a Clover
and how I've grown and blossomed since!
Now at the glass I stare in awe of my hard work:
my amazing silky hair, hypnotic dark eyes, full lips, manly chest, and bones pushing
at my perfect pale skin. No wonder everyone loves me, even my prince,
as much as he tries to deny it.
And granted,
maybe my nose ends in a weird bump when you look at it from the side,
maybe my tooth gap isn't as cute as that one American girl said it was,
and I could always, always be thinner.
But there's nothing that a little more makeup and dieting can't fix.
Soon the whole world will stare shocked upon my radiant body
and they will never avert their eyes again.